


All of Me

by hanluvr (Bria)



Series: Still Us 'verse [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff, PWP, Pete's World, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-14 14:38:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4568244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bria/pseuds/hanluvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a month since Rose Tyler and the Doctor had been left together and she was through holding back, tired of that one remaining barrier between them. It was time they truly started living their lives together as a couple in every way. Part of my Still Us 'verse but can be read on its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Body

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Doctor Who isn't mine. If it was things would be quite different. The BBC owns all and I bow before them.
> 
> Oh my goodness I don't even know where to start. First and foremost, while this does directly follow _Still Us_ and _The Promise of a Name_ , it can completely stand on its own. Secondly, I originally started this near the end of 2013 but due to my nervousness of writing all out smut and issues on how to handle telepathy, it stayed incomplete until just over a month ago when I decided that I was going to finish it at long last. When I originally started the title was For the First Time, based off a Rod Stewart song because many parts of that song make me think of the Doctor and Rose and I definitely would recommend a listen. In the time since, I fell hard for John Legend's All of Me (especially perfect imperfection) and opted to go with that instead. Greek is used as a stand-in for Gallifreyan because that's Greek to me. ;)
> 
> Many, many heartfelt thanks to the following: resile for her early encouragement and feedback on the fic when I first started it. WhoMe, because while she isn't the only person to write Rose with a tattoo, her frankly incredible use of one made its way into my own headcanon and I had to include one in this. Finally, to tenscupcake and AmeliaPonders for being incredible betas.

It was the death of a coworker at Torchwood that finally did it. The day after the funeral, Rose Tyler knew she couldn’t wait any longer. It had been a month since she and the Doctor had been left together and she was through holding back, tired of that one remaining barrier between them. Sleeping curled up next to him was no longer enough. It had been a good idea as they adjusted to this new life that neither of them had quite expected, but now it was time they truly started living their lives together as a couple in every way.

When dinner was over she excused herself and took a shower while the Doctor waited and worked in the study. Once she was done, she dried her hair and put on the new lingerie she had bought that afternoon. Made entirely of lace with tiny little roses (of all things) all over it, it wasn’t her usual style but it was the only thing the store carried in the correct shade of blue. Anticipation and a slight case of nerves curled in her belly as she studied herself for a moment while latching the clasp in the back of it. She hoped the Doctor would like it. Years of yearning would end tonight and she wanted to look her very best for him. 

After switching off their mobiles, Rose padded quietly in bare feet across the flat and found him leaning over the TARDIS coral floating in her tank on his desk in his office. He was checking the readings on the equipment he had borrowed from Torchwood and writing hurriedly on a notepad. She felt a twinge of sadness for him, knowing he keenly felt the loss of the TARDIS in his mind and wished she could ease that ache of emptiness inside his head. She would give him everything she could though, all her comfort and love, from this night on. 

As she approached him, she could see the paper was filled with circular Gallifreyan and he paused every few moments to tap his new brainy specs with his pencil before jotting down more notes. The Doctor was totally absorbed in his work and hadn’t heard her enter the room. She smiled to herself. She had never been able to sneak up on him before but now that he was part human she had managed to accomplish it a few times. Rose wrapped her arms around him from behind and pressed her cheek against his back. 

“How’s she doin’ today?” 

The Doctor made a pleased sound in the back of his throat. She wasn’t sure if was from her touch or her question, but she suspected it might be both when he covered her hands with his own. 

“Wonderful. Donna was right about the shatterfrying.” He attempted to turn and face her, but she tightened her embrace and wouldn’t let him.

“Don’t turn around,” she whispered. 

“Rose, what are you up to?”

“A little under five and a half feet but you know that, yeah?”

The Doctor chuckled. “Cheeky.”

“You know you love it.” She removed her hands from under his and placed them over his heart. 

Rose pressed a kiss against the back of his suit jacket and took a quick, deep breath of his comforting scent as she banished the last of her nerves, now that she was with him. He was _her_ Doctor; there was nothing to be nervous about. He was the one who had been patiently waiting for her after all, not the other way around.

“Close your eyes.” She attempted to reach up and undo his tie but it was tied too tightly and the angle from behind was all wrong to loosen it. 

The Doctor put his notepad down on the desk and she heard the click of his glasses as he took them off, closed them, and set them on the desk. “They’re closed.” 

Rose moved from behind him and turned him around. Once she’d removed his tie she wrapped it around his eyes. “Come with me.”

“Really, what’re you doing?”

She did not reply and led him to their bedroom instead. The lights were dim and candlelight flickered from the nightstands on each side of the bed. 

The Doctor let out an ‘oomph’ as the back of his legs hit the bed and she pushed him to a seated position on it before she removed his Chucks and then the tie. She knew they could have a fun with it in the future but tonight it was only temporary. 

The Doctor’s eyes swept across the room. She watched as he took in the candlelight, the pulled back duvet, and finally, her as he met her eyes.

“Rose.” His voice hitched and he licked his lips as his eyes travelled up and down her body and then settled on her eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

“Considering I'm human?” 

The Doctor stared at her blankly for a second but then he blushed, something she’d never seen him do before. She loved it though, especially the pinkish tinge to his ears. “That’s probably the daftest thing I ever said.” 

“Well, this is _you_ we’re talkin’ about. There’s a lot to pick from.” She teased, her tongue touching the side of her mouth. 

“Oi!”

Rose laughed at his expression and squealed as he pulled her into his lap and tickled her for a moment. 

“For anybody. Human, Time Lord, Raxacoricofallapatorian,” he stopped as she choked out a laugh, not sure if she was amused or disgusted. 

“Slitheen?!”

“Well, _okay_ , maybe not the last one, at least to these eyes, and that’s a family, not a species. The point is, Rose Tyler, you outshine all the multiverse.”

Her laughter died at the look of longing on the Doctor’s face. “You really like this?” She indicated her new lingerie.

He drew a finger up and down her arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake. “I do. Like it. I was referring to you though. _You’re_ beautiful.” 

She smiled at him. “You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

The Doctor’s eyes were hesitant as he returned her gaze. “Rose, are you sure? I know you wanted to wait a bit. I haven’t been rushing you, have I?” Concern was evident in his voice and it was true, he had been bolder in his affection the past week since their fight. His hands had started slipping beneath her clothing (but never too far) when they snogged and she suspected his declaration of his further intent the previous week had something to do with it. He had never pushed for more than she was ready for, but he made it clear he craved it. 

Rose shook her head. “We _have_ waited. Deep down, I’ve wanted this since at least Cardiff.”

“Really?” Surprise and delight was written across his face as he smiled.

She nodded. _“1869_ Cardiff, if not the end of the world,” she further clarified and his smile changed to a full-on beam. “I just didn’t think you felt the same. Then when we got back, I wanted this but not just because of the past. These last weeks have been the best of my life and I’m ready. I _want_ to be with you. I’m sorry I made you wait…” she stroked his cheek as she smiled at him apologetically. 

The Doctor brushed a finger across her lips briefly. “No apologies,” he whispered as he ran a hand through her hair to cup the back of her head. “I’ve wanted this since you told me ‘there’s me.’ I never allowed myself to entertain the thought of us really being together like this, but _oh_ , how I wanted it. So very much.”

Rose brushed her lips against his before she pulled away slightly. “We’ve both waited long enough then, yeah?”

“Oh, yes.” The Doctor confirmed. He brought his lips to her ear and breathed in huskily sending delicious shivers down her spine. “So now that you’ve got me, _Rose Tyler_ , what’re you going to do with me?” 

Rose gave him a tongue-touched smile and he lay back as she situated herself over him. She leaned down to nuzzle and then nip at the perfect imperfection of his wonky ear that had teased her for so long. “Just you wait and see.”

As she lifted her head, Rose studied the Doctor’s pinstripe-clad body and remembered the Christmas he had shown up at her door with all those layers like a present to be unwrapped. Now she finally could and he was truly the greatest gift she had ever been given. Part of her longed to pop open those buttons (today it was the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th that were fastened) and rip off those layers like a kid after Father Christmas visited, but she refused to rush this unveiling.

Starting at the top of his head, she ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed his forehead and then the freckles across the bridge of his nose. In the past few weeks, she’d begun to trace them with her fingers to count them several times, but he had always interrupted her with a passionate snog session. Now, in the candlelight they stood out in stark relief against his pale flesh and more than ever she wanted to map them out, splashed across his cheeks like the stars and galaxies they used to travel together. She itched to do so, but while she wanted tonight to last as they could handle, she didn’t want that slow. Another time. They had plenty of that now. 

Rose started to undress him, easing the jacket of his suit off his shoulders and down his arms and dropping it to off to the side of the bed without a second glance. She had two buttons of his Oxford undone when he slipped a finger under the spaghetti strap of her lingerie and started to ease it down. She shook her head slightly and removed his hand although she brushed a kiss across his knuckles. 

“Not yet,” she tsked. “This is my turn.” 

“We’re taking turns?” 

“Yep,” she answered, with a grin. “I always wanted to strip you of your leather and get my hands under that jumper, but that didn’t go quite the way I had hoped. The least you can do is let me have this with your pinstripes.” 

The Doctor gaped at her wide-eyed for a moment and then nodded. “Yes, ma’am. But know you’ll get it back ten-fold.” 

“The price I must pay,” she feigned annoyance although there was truth to it when she took off his Oxford and reached his Henley. While she _had_ wanted to divest him of his delicious layers, she could’ve done with one less right at that moment. She slipped her hands under it to find his still slightly-cooler skin (though it was warmer than before the metacrisis) and he lifted his arms to her help her. Finally, the Doctor was naked from the waist up. She hummed in appreciation at the sight. 

There was a light smattering of hair across his chest and she felt a twinge between her legs at the thought of how her breasts would feel pressed up against him. Unable to resist, she ran a hand through the hair before she hovered over the left side of the Doctor’s chest where his human heart was beating. She had always taken comfort in the unique double beats of his previous bodies when they hugged or she cuddled against him, but this single heartbeat, with all the sacrifices and promises it symbolized, was even more precious to her now. She lowered her head so his heart was beneath her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the skin there. 

“I love this heart,” Rose said as she raised her head and then moved up so their faces were inches apart. 

The Doctor’s eyes were warm as they met hers and he titled his head up. “It’s yours.” He brushed his nose against hers and kissed her tenderly before lying back and letting her continue. 

Rose trailed open-mouthed kisses along his jawline, and appreciated the stubble that was just beginning to show on it; she loved the sensation of it against her skin and felt that earlier twinge escalate to a hot flash of moisture. She paused at the join of his shoulder and neck, a particularly sensitive spot for him, and the Doctor’s hips bucked when she bit down in a love bite before flicking his nipples lightly with her nails and then moving lower to the happy trail that disappeared into his trousers. She could feel him harden more against her and grinned. It was a joy to watch how responsive he was to her touch, and to see him finally let go of his long held restraint. 

She palmed him through his pinstripes, a low groan escaping from the Doctor as he pushed himself into her hand, and his eyes closed in obvious pleasure as she stroked his length. After a shaky breath he opened his eyes, gave her a hooded smile, and she continued. 

Unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly, Rose pulled his trousers down his legs and deposited them unceremoniously on the floor. She slipped his socks off next and then _finally_ there was only one layer left. She moved back up to his hips, hooked her fingers into the waistband of his pants, and slowly lowered the cotton over his erection.

The Doctor was magnificent, completely bared to her eyes for the very first time. _For her_. His body was long and lean with toned muscles from the running they engaged in each morning. His cock jutted proudly from his body, slighter longer and thicker than she was used to, and without any foreskin she noted with interest. 

Rose realized she was staring, her mouth agape as she took in his length, which had spectacularly risen to the occasion. It had been so long for her since she had done this and she knew she’d feel a pleasant ache the following morning but didn’t mind at all, and in fact she was looking forward to the reminder of having him so deep within her. 

“You see something you like,” the Doctor stated, his tone playful as he waggled his eyebrows. _Git_. He didn’t ask, he just _knew_ , but hot damn, he was _right_. 

Snapping out of her daze, Rose couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out from deep inside, although the look of hurt that crossed his face quashed it. 

“Sorry. I was laughing at _myself,_ ” she explained with a sheepish grin. “I told you in Rome, my imagination’s not that good. So yeah, I see something I like. Someone I love.” 

The Doctor gave her an adorable grin at that and she pressed a kiss to the inside of his thigh as she traced a finger down him, and then cradled his sac in her hand, squeezing softly. 

Rose watched his eyes close in pleasure at her touch once again and then a squeak escaped him as she pressed a kiss to the head of his cock and swiped her tongue across it. Before she could take him into her mouth, he scooted away from her slightly. 

“Rose,” he gasped, his breath ragged. 

She looked at him in concern, but before she could say a word he shook his head. 

“Too much. Far too much. “The Doctor explained, as he tugged on his ear. “I wouldn’t last. I want to be inside you the first time I come.” 

Rose blinked in utter astonishment. _He hadn’t?! Not even in the shower after waking up next to her?_ She felt a wave of affection for just how much the Doctor had apparently held himself back (far more than she figured) and nodded. “I guess it’s your turn then.” 

Nodding enthusiastically, the Doctor gathered her in his arms. He buried his face in her chest and she heard him inhale deeply. Instead of removing her lingerie, he latched on to her breast while cupping and squeezing its twin gently. The feeling of his mouth on her nipple through the lace was incredible as he sucked and tugged with perfect pressure and she couldn’t help the whimper that escaped. 

The Doctor pulled away with a smirk. “Like that, do you? This lace teased me the whole time you were undressing me. Consider it payback.” 

“Turnabout is fair play,” Rose agreed with a breathless grin. 

The Doctor hummed in satisfaction as he swept her hair away from her shoulder and trailed a finger from one shoulder to another, across the edging of the lingerie. She shivered in anticipation as he planted a tender kiss at the hollow of her throat. 

“As lovely as this is, now it’s time it comes off.” 

The Doctor lowered the straps simultaneously down both of her arms but paused, his face filled with wonder, when he moved the material far enough down the valley of her breasts. There, inked against her skin, was a howling wolf, positioned exactly where her TARDIS key used to rest. 

“What’s this?” The Doctor’s eyes were reverent as he brushed his thumb over the small tattoo. 

“A good luck charm and a message to myself, that I’d make it back to you.” She smiled, her tongue nudging the corner of her mouth. “Just like I always had before.” 

He grinned back at her. “Well, it worked. It’s perfect.” 

He stared at it for another moment before nuzzling it with his nose and dropping a kiss against it. He then slipped the negligee completely off her body. 

“Oh Rose,” the Doctor breathed out. “You are gorgeous.” 

Moving over her, he reached out and cupped both breasts in his hands, testing their weight. He circled the areolas with his thumbs and she pushed herself into his palms wanting more. The Doctor wouldn’t be rushed though, kneading for several moments until both nipples stood at attention, and only then did he lower his mouth to first one, and then the other. He suckled at her strongly and she buried her fingers in the silky strands of his hair to keep him there. When he was done he blew warm breath across each peak and she shivered. 

The Doctor looked up from his handiwork with a smile and moved his mouth to the inside of her elbow. As his lips brushed against her flesh, she discovered that he had found a particularly sensitive spot for her and she moaned. Moving his ministrations down her arm, he pressed a kiss to the palm of her left hand and threaded his hand in hers and squeezed. 

“I love you,” he whispered before setting her hand back down. 

“Quite right,” Rose replied as she squeezed his hand in return. 

The Doctor then moved to her hips, rutting his own against the bed for a moment. He placed a mark of his own against her hipbone with his tongue and teeth. Once he was done, he gripped her thighs and his nostrils flared. 

“You smell so good Rose,” he sighed as he parted her folds with his fingers. Sinking inside, he explored her entrance and the rough patch on her front wall but avoided where she was so desperate for his touch. 

“Doctor, please,” she pleaded as she rocked against his hand. She reached down and stroked his sideburns before she buried her fingers in his hair once again. 

Finally, the Doctor gave in and started to explore her with his tongue, first against her lips and then thrusting inside. With each brush of the Doctor’s tongue amongst her folds and his fingers inside her, Rose felt herself getting closer and closer. He still hadn’t touched where she ached for him, yet he was so good at this she was already near the edge. She could feel it building as her toes curled and soon it would shoot up her spine and throughout her body if she didn’t put a stop to it. 

“Doc – _ohhhhhh_.” Rose moaned as he finally came in direct contact with her clit. “Doctor!” She finally managed to choke out as he teased her with quick flicks. It felt incredible and she knew she couldn’t handle anymore. She too wanted him inside her when she came. With regret, she wiggled away from his mouth. _“Need you now!”_

The Doctor looked up at her, his lips and chin shiny and his hair sticking up in complete disarray from her hands vigorous attention to it. He nodded and moved to straddle her but Rose lifted a hand to stop him for a moment. She leaned over to the bedside table and removed a foil packet from the drawer and carefully ripped it open. 

Next to her the Doctor went stock-still and his breathing stuttered. “Rose, I thought…aren’t you taking something?” 

“Yeah. I started a couple of days after we got here. This is just added protection. In case you have super sperm or something. No little Tonys or Anwens of our own just yet.” 

The Doctor swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I don’t…” he couldn’t seem to complete the sentence and didn’t meet her eyes. 

Rose stroked his cheek and turned his head towards her as a rush of affection flooded her, that _this_ was alien to him and made him nervous. “What is it Doctor? You’ve never used a condom before?” 

Finally, he met her eyes and shook his head. “There was no need. I was sterile from Pythia’s curse and disease wasn’t an issue for me.” 

“I’ll show you how,” Rose assured him. “You being you, you’ll be a pro at it in no time.” 

A smile bloomed on his face and she glanced down to find his erection had softened a bit in his nervousness. 

She pulled him back down beside her on the bed. “Kiss me, Doctor.” 

In a flash he was over her and his lips descended as he kissed her sweetly. She reciprocated before swiping her tongue across his bottom lip until he opened for her and it then became heated. Their tongues dueled and she felt him start to strain against her leg. A few firm strokes with her hand between them and he was ready once more. 

The Doctor groaned as he moved off her. Rose grabbed the prophylactic once again and he watched intently as she placed it on the head of his cock, pinched the tip, and rolled it down his shaft. She then showed him how to smooth out any air and grinned at him when she was done. 

“What about you?” he asked as he straddled her. “Do you need any more… preparation?” 

Rose shook her head. “Nope, you did so well before.” She flashed him a cheeky grin. 

The Doctor beamed at her. He took himself in hand and groaned when first his fingers and then the head of his cock brushed against her wetness and slipped inside. He took a ragged breath and then inched forward slowly until he was sheathed insider her completely. 

The Doctor’s eyes slammed shut at that final contact as he reached for the headboard with a hand and leaned down close to her ear. Rose wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned at the feel of him, finally insider her. She forced herself to give him a moment and just enjoyed the sensation of being filled. 

“Rose. Αγαπημένη μου.” he whispered as he opened his eyes and they bore into hers as he lifted his head. “Σύμπαν μου, μου τα πάντα.” 

_Rose. My beloved. My universe, my everything._

Rose heard, no that wasn’t right, she _felt_ the translation in her mind. Long ago the thought of someone, even the Doctor, in her mind had bothered her but not anymore. She had welcomed him into her body, and he was just as welcome in her mind, even if he hadn’t asked permission beforehand. Heat of the moment, she mused. 

“My Doctor,” she replied. “My love.” 

Although they had shared countless (at least to her) “I love yous” since they had been reunited, this was the first time she had addressed him by that endearment, and his smile was tender as he nodded in agreement and started to thrust. Rose finally clenched around him and started to move in time with him. 

His strokes were languid at first. They felt _wonderful_ , and she met him thrust for thrust but she could tell from the way his eyebrows furrowed he was thinking his way through it, and not only would that not do, she needed more. More stimulation, more movement, just more _him_. She swiveled her hips and ground herself against his pelvis, needing pressure against her clit. 

“ _Dance_ with me, Doctor,” she breathed out around a groan at the feeling against her bundle of nerves. “Show me your moves.” 

With a half-gasp, half-growl, the Doctor suddenly increased his pace as well as snaked a finger between them to flick against her throbbing nub. The sound of harsh breaths and skin meeting skin rent the air. To anyone else it might’ve sounded like a harsh cacophony but to her it was a beautiful cadence because it was the sound of _them_. She knew it’d been decades (and several regenerations) since he last did this and it thrilled her to know that she was the one bringing the Doctor this pleasure. She could tell her moans turned him on as well. 

“I’m not going to last.” He groaned against her breast. “I wanted to, but I can’t. You feel too good.” 

“Neither am I, Doctor. You can let go.” 

She grabbed his bum to help him surge deeper inside her and watched his face as his eyes slid close again. His strokes became choppy and she felt his sac tighten against her thigh a moment before it happened. 

“ROSE!!!” His eyes flew open and met hers, ecstasy written across his face as he emptied himself. 

Rose’s walls spasmed around his cock and with a cry of “DOCTOR!,” she felt her orgasm overcome her as the Doctor cradled her to his chest. Sated and boneless, she snuggled her head against his heart and savored the feeling of completion. 

_tbc_


	2. Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mental joining leads the Doctor to an unexpected discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many thanks to AmeliaPonders and tenscupcake for being great betas as well as allegoricalrose for helping me make my take on telepathy as neurolocially sound as possible. Wordsmithing credits to tenscupcake and allegoricalrose too. You gals all rock. :)

The Doctor felt the bed shift as Rose returned to it and used a damp cloth to clean him after disposing of the condom. He smiled at her, but for once was speechless. 

_La petite mort_. That strange little French phrase was the first thought to cross his mind, once he was able to string his consciousness together to form anything remotely coherent. He had read it long ago but rolled his eyes at the over-the-top euphemism. He’d had _no idea_ though. It had never been like this for him before. 

Suddenly, he completely understood, with crystal clarity, why humans would think that after an orgasm. Not just that, but why they were so very wrong. His body had died so many times before and it was nothing like _that_. That was exactly the opposite. _This_ was being born again and he should know, he’d done that eleven times too. Forget any future children they may or may not have, he and Rose had already created life together, _their_ life. Being human was bloody brilliant, but he bit his tongue to keep from saying that out loud. 

The Doctor snorted to himself. All the millions of languages in his head and that was all he could come up with to summarize it? Was human sex always like this or was it because he had finally made love? Made love with _Rose Tyler_? Was that what was rendering him speechless? 

No, he knew what the real problem was. There were simply no words to describe it, not even in Gallifreyan, but he desperately wanted Rose to understand how he felt about what had just happened and how much it meant to him. It still wasn’t always easy for him to tell her his feelings, but never had he wanted to share with her more than he did right now. There was only one possible way and while he was desperate to do so, would she allow it? 

“What?” Rose poked him lightly in the shoulder, before getting back into the bed and cuddling up against him. 

He stared at her in confusion. “ _What_ , what?” 

“You snorted. Not exactly the reaction a girl would hope for after making love.” Her eyebrow arched, but he could see the amusement in her eyes. 

He couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to form words. His still-non-stop gob had finally failed him. He wasn’t sure if he would’ve had that problem if he was still completely Time Lord but he wouldn’t go back for anything even if he could. This was bliss. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” She ran her fingers through his hair, and he hummed at her caress as the fog in his mind slowly lifted. 

The Doctor pulled himself up and Rose did the same. “ _Rose Tyler_ ,” he paused as he met her eyes. “Would you let me show you something?” 

“I think you just did.” Her eyes sparkled as she grinned at him. 

He gave her a mock frown. “Thanks. I’m being serious though.” 

Rose nodded and straightened her face. “’Course.” 

“I mean can I show you something in your head, I promise I won’t-” 

“Yes-”

“But I want you to know, to understand-” He broke off as he felt a squeeze and he looked down at her hand in his. 

“Doctor, I said yes.” 

He smiled joyfully. “Really?” 

“Yes. I trust you, with everything.” 

The Doctor nodded and moved in front of her so that he faced her, crossed legged. Rose followed his lead. “Close your eyes.” 

He brought his hands up to her face. He brushed his fingers across her forehead tenderly, humbled by the faith she had in him. As his hands reached her temples, he closed his own eyes. 

The Doctor lowered his mind gently into her consciousness. He took great care to respect her privacy, and lowered his own walls instead of knocking down hers. He would show her exactly what she meant to him, beyond any physical act between their bodies, however glorious that had been. 

He started with the day he had met her. The horror and the darkness that echoed inside him with each step he took, because of the big red button that had destroyed everything. How he had been so overcome with grief over the loss of his world, his family and people, and all by his own hand, that he had not cared if he lived or died when he entered Henrik’s. He shared with her the spark of life that had zinged through him, the moment he grabbed her hand and they ran for their lives together. How saddened he’d been when she declined his offer and that he’d just had to give her one more chance to come with him. 

From their very first adventure, he showed her how much he enjoyed being with her, that she was brilliant and beautiful, and he was so glad he had met her. His anguish at himself after he had been so cruel when they had gone back to 1987 to see her father and the vow he made to himself to never hurt her again. The crushing horror on Satellite 5 as he sifted through her ‘ashes,’ and the joyful hug with Jack when he found out she was still alive. His sorrow at the realization there was nothing he could do to save Game Station, and that he had to send her away, because nothing was more important to him than her survival. Next he shared his feeling of unworthiness when she had returned to rescue him, full of the Time Vortex, and how he had kissed her, knowing that it would soon be the end of that regeneration but also that she was so worth it. 

The Doctor then continued on to his next life, revealing how it was forged from love for her. How profoundly relieved he’d been when she had finally accepted that he was the same man, not very long after asking him to change back. His joy at her confession that she loved traveling with him, and the banter that came so easily to them as they tried to make Queen Victoria crack a smile. He shared his sorrow when he had been unable to tell her just what she meant to him outside that café, and his rage when her face was stolen by the Wire. The joy of their reunion after that, as well as Krop Tor, and how he had felt as he lifted her in his arms and just what her ‘forever’ meant to him. Then came the hardest part of his lives since he met her, watching her slip away, and the crushing ache in his hearts when he ran out of time to assure her of his love. 

Finally, he brought her to his current self. How delighted he had been to laugh beside her in the TARDIS, even though he knew it wouldn’t last. The turmoil that rolled through him knowing his other self planned to leave them, intending for them to be together, but how he knew it had to be her choice and that he would step aside if need be. How he waited with bated breath when she turned silent after Bad Wolf Bay, and he tried to imagine a life without her, knowing that would be worse than the loss of the stars and the TARDIS combined. Last, his relief when they talked, how he knew they were going to be alright together, and the feeling of absolute completion, as he just made love to her. 

As the Doctor started to withdraw his mind from hers, he felt Rose’s fingers go to his temples, and she was suddenly _there_ in a way he’d never dared to dream she would want. He could feel her neurons reaching out for his, as mentally bared to him as he had been to her. Anyone else and he would’ve pulled away but it was _her_ , so he didn’t. Instead his whole being gravitated to Rose’s touch, his axons reaching out to her dendrites, that last protoplasmic gap bridged in a synaptic kiss. A physical and figurative bond flared to life between them, and though it would only be temporary tonight, it was everything he desired. 

Love and _Rose_ suffused him like a warm bath. She shared herself with him, as completely as he had with her, though her memories were slightly erratic. He saw the first life in which he’d known her, and her wonder as he showed her time and space as they had one adventure after another. Swinging in his arms at Downing Street, followed by a bone crushing hug after he thought she’d been killed by a Dalek, then dancing during the Blitz. Her sheer determination to save him, as she tore open the TARDIS console, and then made her way back to him. Nothing would ever keep her from her Doctor. 

The images abruptly changed and he was in his current face, although still completely Time Lord. Her initial shyness as he stretched out his hand and wiggled his fingers after she said she still wanted to travel with him, and then her hair in her face as she smiled at him in the apple grass of New New York, followed by a breathless, surprise kiss after stone had been made flesh, and Krop Tor as they faced each other across a table and she told him they could live a life together even without the TARDIS. Sorrow came next as she could only stare at him in terror as her fingers slipped and she was pulled away from him, followed by a cold, windswept beach where she choked out the words she’d been holding inside for two years. The longing she felt as she worked on the dimension cannon so she could find him again no matter how long it took, and the urgency of yhe stars going out as she straddled universes. Her disappointment as she shouted at his back when he’d been unable to hear her, followed by her joy at seeing him across the street and running towards him, only to watch in horror as he was shot, and she worried she was going to lose him all over again. 

Finally, he saw himself, the part human, part Time Lord existence he now lived, and her amazement as he emerged from the TARDIS. The warmth that had spread through her as he whispered the words she had waited so long to hear on the beach, and how, without conscious thought, her fingers had wrapped around his neck and in his hair, as she had pulled him to her, kissing him with everything she had ever felt for him. Her initial confusion and uncertainty about just how much he was or wasn’t the same man giving way to understanding during their first conversation at the Tyler mansion. The past few weeks they had spent reconnecting and sharing stories of their time apart. The one fight they’d had, and how she had never wavered in her faith in him. The last memory was earlier that evening, as she approached him with all the longing in her heart, and the sense of home she felt with him stronger than ever as he sank into her. 

Rose’s memories came to an end and the Doctor was left breathless. He knew they’d been sitting together for only moments, and yet everything had completely changed. This shouldn’t have been possible. 

_How?_ His question was not spoken aloud but felt between the two of them. 

_I dunno_ , came the reply. _I just… did it. Same as you._

_Are you ok?_

_Yeah… it’s intense though…_

His fingers slipped down her face and the Doctor opened his eyes and found that hers were still closed, and her head lolled to the side now that it was no longer supported by his hands. Not good. Too much more and she would pass out. 

Gingerly, and with infinite care, he eased himself out of her mind, though he did quick scan on his way out to confirm what had happened. 

_I bring life. I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be._

Rose’s words from years ago echoed across his mind. Her stint as Bad Wolf had made this possible. There was no doubt in his mind, and with it came the realization that he could bond with her. After the metacrisis, he’d been sure the only bond he could form would either be with their new timeship, or if they had children that shared in his part Gallifreyan biology. 

Yet now the chance was there, _had_ been there, for years. Rose and the TARDIS had seen to that. The neural pathways had been weak, lying dormant and awaiting the activation they had finally received. Eventually, once the two of them repeated the process, over and over, and built up the strength of their connection, it could become permanent. 

Rose’s eyes flew open as he moved his head slightly and her fingers fell away. She blinked and looked around, confusion and exhaustion all over her face. “Doctor?” 

He enveloped her in his arms and lowered her to the bed. “My precious Rose,” he stated as he kissed her forehead and then lay back down with her, face to face. 

“What just…” Rose shook her head. “What just happened? I didn’t just see… I felt you too.” 

The Doctor nuzzled her nose with his own. “You did. You shared not just your memories, but your mind with me.” 

Rose’s brow furrowed. “How’d I do that?” 

He couldn’t keep his excitement out of his voice. “I promised I’d never go inside your head without your permission, and other than at the Game Station, I never did. The closest I came after that was when I reached for you across the void and then the distance was so great. Until direct contact was made tonight, I never would’ve realized it. But it makes so much sense!” 

Her face expectant, Rose waited for him to continue. “You took the Time Vortex into your head. The Time Vortex was connected to the TARDIS and the TARDIS was connected to me. I removed the vortex but a link remained, I just didn't know it!” 

The Doctor hugged her tightly. “You’ve always known how to help me, what I needed to hear, from the day we met, but this is reason why it became so much stronger after I regenerated. That connection became a physical, though inactive, link after Bad Wolf. Do you know what this means?” 

Rose seemed to consider for a moment. “That you can read my mind?” 

He couldn’t read the expression on her face as she asked, but he was quick to reassure her. “No. We can share thoughts if we choose to when we touch, especially when we’re intimate, but it means we can form a bond. A sense up here,” he ghosted his fingers around her temple and continued. “Of each other’s presence. No touch required, but that will take time and practice. Right now there has to be a physical joining of our minds but we could make it permanent.” 

He leaned his forehead against hers. “That’s what my people did, if they found the right person. I didn’t think we could have that since I’m part human now, but because it was pre-established to conform to my neural circuitry, we can. And not just to share memories and emotions, but also physical sensations. We’d be able to share _everything_ , in every way. Well, I mean if that’s something you would want?” 

The Doctor couldn’t keep the hope out of his voice even though he didn’t want her to feel pressured. Before she made this choice she had to have all the details. He would love her no matter what, but a bond would mean so much to him. 

“Intimately?” Rose questioned, and this time he could easily read the desire written across her face. 

He grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows. “Oh, yes.” 

“My daft Doctor.” Rose gave him a sleepy smile as she suddenly yawned. “’Course I do. I want all of you.” 

He pulled her in for a kiss. “All of me,” he confirmed against her lips. “Let’s get some rest.” 

Rose cuddled up against him, and the last image the Doctor saw before he drifted off to sleep was her golden hair falling across the wolf tattoo on her chest. 

_end_


End file.
